All of Them
by Trivette Lover Heather
Summary: The Camp Priest gets a little riled up, resulting in a little righteous mischief involving the one and only Frank Burns.


All of Them  
  
By: Trivette Lover Heather  
  
On a roll with the Short Stories, Please review and enjoy!  
  
---  
  
He watched Frank scream out another useless order at an orderly and almost flipped his lid right then and there. He was so degrading to watch. It took everything in him to keep his mouth closed tight from saying anything unworthy of a priest to say.   
  
Later after a little calming down the Father quietly made his way over to the SWAMP. He opened the door quietly as he saw the three doctors were sound asleep. He fumbled through the tent and found what he was looking for. After which he retreated to his own tent for a good nights rest.   
  
--  
  
"Alright! WHERE IS IT?" Frank hollered to his two bunk mates who were still very visibly sleeping.   
  
"I SAID WHERE IS IT?!" He repeated.  
  
Hawkeye turned to his side. "Sorry Frank, I had to send your diploma back, they made a mistake!" he retreated back under the covers.  
  
"My diploma?? The inhumanity…there was no mistake…no I mean…that's not what's missing. But if it is what's missing, I want it returned immediately…that's irrelevant…you know very well what's missing and I want it back this instant."  
  
"Really daddy, I didn't mean to use your shaver on the cat…" BJ mumbled as he tossed in his sleep.   
  
Finally Frank couldn't take it anymore and shook both of them awake.  
  
"Frank, if you don't stop shaking me I'm gonna make you go through medical school…!" Hawkeye hollered.  
  
"I went through medial school, that doesn't scare me one bit." Frank replied.   
  
"No Frank, I mean Hawkeye Pierces Medical School, the hands on type…" He made a grab for him but BJ anticipated the response.   
  
"What do you want Frank?" BJ asked setting Hawkeye back on his cot, putting a hand up for him to stay put.   
  
"You've stolen it? Haven't you?" Frank said pointing to his shelf.  
  
"Is he talking about the diploma?" BJ asked turning to Hawkeye. Hawkeye grinned slightly but shook his head.   
  
"You two really make my ears wiggle…I'm going to Colonel Potter."  
  
"Good Go!" Hawkeye yelled at him waving his hand toward the door.   
  
As soon as the door shut the two retreated back to their cots and nestled in for some more sleep. Hopefully uninterrupted.   
  
The Father could hear Franks ranting outside of Colonel Potters tent and decided it was fitting to come to the rescue.  
  
He entered to find Colonel Potter with a pillow over his head as Frank stood overhim hollering about a robbery.   
  
"Is everything alright my son?"  
  
"There's a thief in camp Father." Frank replied.   
  
"I see, what has he or she taken?"  
  
"My most prized and important possession."  
  
The Father started to get almost as riled up as he did the day before. This time the spirit couldn't stop him from continuing.   
  
"Frank, I am a holy man, but you really take the cake. I tried my hardest not to hurt your feelings or belittle you in anyway, but you have gone too far…this prized possession of yours, isn't just some book, it is the Word of God and until you come to that realization of what the Bible is, I am going to keep it from you!"  
  
"Father…you?...you're the thief?" Frank said bewildered.   
  
Colonel Potter had gotten up as soon as he heard the Father start reaming into Frank.   
  
"Yes I am a thief, and this prized possession, says that all are thieves who steal from the Son of Man, and you my friend parade around calling yourself a Christian. I shutter to think how the Lord feels about this."  
  
"For I will have Mercy on whom I will have Mercy and I will have Compassion on whom I have Compassion." Colonel Potter interjects with a scripture put to memory as a teenage boy. Of course Frank had no idea it was a scripture.   
  
"Thank you Colonel." The priest nodded over to his friend.  
  
Frank was confused. "I don't get it, you stole my Bible…you don't want to make fun of me…Colonel Potter is acting like he's God and you're thanking Him. This place has gone bonkers…what's the world coming to these days, where Priests can't even be trusted…?" He said as he made his way out.   
  
The Father and Potter stood shaking their heads. "Lord have Mercy." The priest said and also made his way out.   
  
Hours passed and wounded arrived once more. After what seemed a relentless session, evening began to set in.   
  
The Father started on his usual rounds. One particular case, Hawkeye had referred him to. He was a young man, 18; he had tried to pull his tubes out a number of times in an attempt to end his life. The Father had a talk with him and to his surprise he wasn't very hostile at all. The boy was very open to what the priest had to say. It was an odd case, to say the least. At the site of Frank ranting about the patient just trying to get sent home, the Father reached into his bag and handed the young man a Bible.   
  
"Aw gee Father, I don't think God is too happy with me right now."   
  
The Father smiled. "Trust me son, he welcomes all his children."  
  
"All of them Father?"  
  
The Father contemplated as he watched Frank go back and forth with Hawkeye.   
  
Then replied, "All of them."   
  
Days later the boy was shipping out to Tokyo and the Father sent his blessings along. In the bus ride to Tokyo, the young man opened the Bible the Priest had given him, inside the cover it oddly read, "Frank Burns." He shook his head confused but continued to flip the pages. "All of them." He whispered to himself. "All of them"  
  
---  
  
"Father can I please have the Bible back now? I just donated half my wages to the orphanage." Frank pleaded like a little child.   
  
Father Mulcahy shook his head. "I'm sorry Frank, I seem to have misplaced it, can you forgive me?"  
  
"Forgiveness?! You?! Ha! Never." He stormed away leaving the priest once again shaking his head.  
  
Hawkeye had overheard the conversation. "Misplaced it huh Father? Right into that suicide patients hands it seems?"  
  
"Yes well, it must have slipped out of my bag, onto his cot. Clumsy me, must of forgotten to get it back." He said as he started to walk away.  
  
"Mmmhmmm" Hawkeye said with a smile as he saw the Priest slide into his tent marked "Chaplain" 


End file.
